im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
