I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
