no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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