oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
