i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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