Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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