i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
