omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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