Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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