i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
