I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
