girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
