And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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