im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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