they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
