So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
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By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
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I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.