What should our trivia night team be named?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
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You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.