i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?