I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me