so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.