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• (207): View more from Maine

  using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.

  Fav 27 4680 1301

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• (631): View more from New York

  I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis

  Fav 17 4772 875

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• (310): View more from California

  I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you

  Fav 20 5236 1023

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.

  Fav 20 5102 1043

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Do they take checks?

  (1-606): View more from Kentucky

  Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?

  Fav 18 5357 2033

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight

  Fav 8 3898 1256

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.

  Fav 4 1091 1854

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God

  Fav 3 2566 1047

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• (714): View more from California

  I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA

  Fav 2 1622 832

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.

  Fav 3 1101 599

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.

  Fav 2 832 570

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry

  Fav 9 1326 599

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.

  (509): View more from Washington

  you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left

  (971): View more from Oregon

  goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan

  Fav 4 1731 662

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.

  Fav 6 653 517

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• (209): View more from California

  she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises

  (1-209): View more from California

  I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini

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