i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We just shotgunned beers for America
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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