So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
