you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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