my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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