Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
