life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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