don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
