She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
