My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
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I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
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I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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