I think my vagina is haunted
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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