She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
