i just made my gag reflex go away.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
