Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
