just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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