i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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