you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
