I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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