On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
