we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
