Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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