i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
