Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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