if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
