Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
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My legs feel like baby dolphins
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize