Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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