Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
