I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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