This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
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I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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