shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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