just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
And then my night got REAL pukey
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
