At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
