I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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