Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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