its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
