They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
