i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
