bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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