i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
