Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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