they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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