Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to

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  (604): her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to http://tfl.nu/r2n2
  Replies (25) Good night (490) Bad night (3473)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.

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  (336): I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable. http://tfl.nu/7b9p
  Replies (12) Good night (3403) Bad night (1538)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.

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  (941): CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES. http://tfl.nu/rhol
  Replies (32) Good night (1610) Bad night (6930)
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  (714): View more from California

  he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick

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  (714): he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick http://tfl.nu/v3uh
  Replies (14) Good night (4642) Bad night (901)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  As in ill only blow him next week

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  (403): I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow (403): As in ill only blow him next week http://tfl.nu/dd9t
  Replies (14) Good night (3089) Bad night (878)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.

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  (573): I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot. http://tfl.nu/yflo
  Replies (5) Good night (3813) Bad night (924)
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  (619): View more from California

  I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.

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  (619): I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight. http://tfl.nu/r1ts
  Replies (4) Good night (2431) Bad night (892)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.

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  (267): This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this. http://tfl.nu/d3gm
  Replies (6) Good night (2282) Bad night (701)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.

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  (501): Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us. http://tfl.nu/mzbi
  Replies (3) Good night (823) Bad night (953)
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  (626): View more from California

  So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.

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  (626): So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential. http://tfl.nu/3n2i
  Replies (5) Good night (2656) Bad night (532)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out

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  (412): I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out http://tfl.nu/phlg
  Replies (6) Good night (1029) Bad night (434)
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  (209): View more from California

  I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..

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  (209): I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him.. http://tfl.nu/g4nz
  Replies (3) Good night (1015) Bad night (507)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?

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  (604): True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame? http://tfl.nu/gz7a
  Replies (4) Good night (447) Bad night (896)
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  (619): View more from California

  Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.

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  (619): Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it. http://tfl.nu/xm8c
  Replies (8) Good night (1917) Bad night (362)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...

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  (+44): Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer... http://tfl.nu/gvjp
  Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (328)

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