He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure