Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.