how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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