Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
