i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
