i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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