Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
