She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
