I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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