i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize